The Weekend That Reminded Me: We Create Our Own Reality

A spontaneous trip, a quiet marina town, and the clarity that comes from unplugging and paying attention

Stepping Out of Routine

I slipped away to Mississippi this past weekend to visit a friend, and for someone who lives on the world’s best beaches, I truly didn’t know what to expect from the MS coast. We ended up in Pass Christian, just across the water from Bay St. Louis—another tourist town like mine, but this time I was the tourist moving through someone else’s rhythm.

It’s a small marina town where the main attractions are the bay, a few restaurants, and the water itself. If you aren’t fishing or paddling or doing something outdoors, you might wonder what to do with yourself. For once, I wasn’t there to paddle or train, I was there to just be, breathe, and to live on land for a change. I let the day unfold without a plan.

The Beauty of Doing Less

My friend is a hiker who had just gotten back from a trip out west, full of stories about mountains and long trails. She’s a busy mom with three kids and a demanding job, so carving out time for herself takes effort. That is something we talked about a lot: how life is short, how waiting for the “perfect” moment is pointless, and how experiences matter more than excuses.

We’re similar in that way and we enjoy the simple things in life. We both know how to be present when we’re doing something. That morning we played frisbee on the bay laughing and catching up. I hadn’t thrown one in a couple of years, but that familiar rhythm came back instantly: throw, breathe, run, release. It is mindfulness disguised as play—like paddling or hiking— and something that forces your brain to settle into the moment and let everything else drop away. The weather helped too as fall along the Gulf always brings that clear, calm air that reminds me why I love this time of year so much.

When Place Stops Mattering

We had lunch at a little marina restaurant and later wandered through a shopping area with a pool bar tucked beside the docks. The funny part is, if someone had blindfolded me, dropped me there, and walked away, I never would’ve guessed where I was. The music in the background was a bit of R&B, house, and reggae, and the buildings felt almost Mediterranean, and for a second I felt like I was in Europe again or some island somewhere.

It was bizarre and fun and the perfect scene for this kind of moment. That’s what happens when you unplug and give yourself permission to be present: time stops controlling you, social media stops chirping every second, and background noises goes quiet. There is space to actually live and feel awareness again.

It was just a quick 24-hour getaway, but coming home and stepping back into routine made the contrast even sharper. It only takes one moment of scrolling social media or sitting near someone who always has a TV on to remember how different life feels when you’re tuned out of the digital loop. I’ve known this for years as I practice mindfulness and breath work daily, but every so often, life gives me a reminder: the real world and the digital world are not the same and only one of them is real in my world.

You Build the Reality You Live In

We create our own reality. Life is an illusion. Time isn’t linear. There isn’t just one path for any of us—we recycle through different journeys to learn what we missed before.

As I’ve gotten older, I am 50, I can see the patterns I’ve created in my life, both the helpful ones and the destructive ones. I can see the patterns others build too, often without realizing it.

One of the biggest talks my friend and I had was about being stuck in a job she doesn’t love. I totally get that and I have been there a couple of times. I loved my career once upon a time, but politics, money, and corporate greed stripped joy from it. The fear of losing stability is real when you choose to reinvent yourself and that takes personal strength, self-awareness, and the willingness to walk into the unknown without guaranteed footing. It’s really no different from paddling new waters or hiking an unknown trail. That is also part of the beauty of living those activities. Why can’t daily life also be so magical. Am I am romantic and idealist? Maybe I am a little, but I have successfully pivoted many times and I have never lived life with regret. I could die tomorrow and feel that I have done exactly what I wanted and needed to do with my life.

What most people don’t understand is that we all have adjacent possibilities—paths that run right beside the one we’re on. Happiness sometimes requires stepping off the familiar one, even if that means losing stability for a while. When you reconnect to your true self, the rest eventually aligns. It’s very scarey, but what is fear actually when you think about it? The mind is a powerful thing and we actually only use a portion of it in our daily living. This is why regular mindfulness is so important and how we can power through any fear by setting calculated intentions, doing the work, and manifesting what we actually want.

We’re not in control of our future. It doesn’t matter how much you vote, protest, travel, hustle, or earn—control is an illusion. What we can control is how aligned we are with ourselves and the greater purpose. True peace comes from courage, integrity, boundaries, and the refusal to abandon your own values. The most valuable thing we have is time, and if you don’t realize that, you risk losing your own life.

The Real Work Is Knowing Who You Are

Everything in your life, your health, your relationships, and your career boils down to knowing who you are and being willing to live as your authentic self. Even parenting and creating a successful, balanced humans requires modeling behavior. If your child doesn’t see you as a happy and self-aware human, what is that teaching them as they grow into an adult? Being yourself, requiring self-respect, and respecting other humans is part of the happiness equation.

People wonder why they struggle with relationships, or why their kids don’t respect them, or why they feel disconnected from their lives. It’s because they’re disconnected from themselves. You can’t offer presence, respect, honesty, or stability to someone else if you’re not giving it to yourself first.

Boundaries, values, and self-honoring choices really do matter. Living a lie will always cost more than it seems in the moment. One does have to realize that this lifestyle requires work and it is not something that you can buy or that can be given to you. You have to work really hard to earn this peace and balance.

This weekend reminded me of all of that, and I’m grateful for that time I had with my friend. I’m am also grateful for the stage of life I’m in which allows me freedom to live as my authentic self.

Thank you to my readers for your attention and support. If you are new to my Substack, welcome to my world, haha! If this resonated with you, I’d love your support—whether that’s becoming a paid subscriber, buying my book, or booking a coaching session. Links to do any and all of those things are on my Substack homepage. Your support helps me continue this work and stay aligned with my purpose.